Traveling Solo (or leaving the man at home).
Many would tell you that traveling with children should always be one of those whole family pursuits. After all, if Dad isn’t around, who else will carry the extra bag (and the car seat), run out for diapers (and wine) at 11:00pm and navigate (get you lost) in uncharted territory?
And most importantly, given all the uncertainty of traveling with the young’uns, having a man around means that you have some back-up to help mitigate any situation your kids might get you into. And let’s face it, that can be a serious comfort when your child has just cracked that large, expensive looking vase in the hotel lobby.
Not that I know anything about that personally or anything.
Let me state upfront that my husband is a good traveling companion. He’s been trained to ruck march with 60 lbs. on his back so a toddler, three shopping bags and a heavy backpack doesn’t faze him. He is a history buff and knows all kinds of cool stories of ancient battles and political intrigues. And he tends to be a little more laid back than me when it comes to the details of family travel, and can calm me down when I’m ready to bash the head of some unsuspecting, incompetent concierge type.
But for the past 10 months, I’ve been traveling on my own with Chet and I’ve loved every minute of it.
I think I mentioned last week that I’m a military spouse. The military is what brought my family to Europe four years ago…and it is also what takes my husband away for months and sometimes years for a time. Frankly, if I was not willing to travel on my own with Chet, I’d be doing very little travel at all. But I’ve found that traveling solo with kids makes for a whole different—and incredibly rewarding—travel experience. And one that I plan to continue to do whether my husband is around or not. Let me explain why.
1. Because I’m the Mommy, that’s why. With no other adults to cater to, I control the itinerary. Where we go, what we do and when to stop for nap time. Sure, we plan our sidetrack trips just the same. But without another adult with an agenda in the mix, we have a lot more flexibility in how we spend our days. And when that other adult’s idea of a good time is yet another military-themed museum (how many different kinds of medieval wea
ponry can there really be?), you may be able to see the appeal.
2. Because everyone is so curious. When I was single, I loved traveling on my own. I always met new people and ended up heading off on spontaneous and fun adventures. Believe it or not, that is again possible with kids. It could be that my husband is just incredibly scary looking but I’ve noticed that the natives tend to talk to me more when I’m on my own with Chet. We’ve been told about great, local haunts that we must see, asked home for dinner, and even been invited to a Bar Mitzvah. It’s an incredible way to get a real, authentic feel for a place even if you can’t stay more than a few days.
3. Because it gives you a unique opportunity to really bond with your child. Sure, Bogey and Bergman will always have Paris. Well, just the same, Chet and I will always have Stockholm. And Jerusalem. And Geneva. And Chicago. You get the picture. We’ve gotten to spend some quality time together in really neat places. And we’ll always have those memories. Sure, some of them involve some vomit. Okay, more than I’d care to admit. But I wouldn’t trade them just the same.
February 8th, 2009 | by Kayt Sukel 6 comments
1. Carolina on February 8th, 2009
I love traveling solo with my little guy. I’m a single mom, but I do often have my sister along on our trips. There are a lot of special considerations when you travel alone with a kid, like you can’t leave your sleeping kid in the car when you need to take a bathroom break on a road trip. But you take the inconveniences, and get a lot of rewards as well. Your article covered those nicely. I hope I get to go to all those places with my son as well, solo or not.
2. Rebecca on February 8th, 2009
I was a single parent from the time my daughters were 4 and 1 year olds. And though we were not military, Mommy had itchy feet. So not only did we do our regular vacationing without another adult – unless we were with other family – we criss crossed the country several times by car while the moving vans went off with our furniture. Since the movers always took a lot longer to drive across the country, we always had a lot of extra time to see interesting stuff along the way.
I didn’t realize until my rowdy granddaughter came along, that I was fortunate in having relatively calm and quiet little girls. I do want to start traveling with her, though. So I think the trick is going to be finding ways to let her wear off some of that extra energy every day.
It’s not something I had to do with my daughters, but that is the kind of challenge that usually ends up making things more interesting. You just have to look at challenges like that as opportunities. It’s the same as when any other unexpected obstacle pops up on your travels. Instead of bemoaning what you’re missing, look for something just as interesting to take its place…sometimes you end up with something better.
Flexibility. That is the key to making the journey every bit as wonderful as the destinations.
3. Sascha Zuger on February 9th, 2009
I feel the exact same way, Kayt. Especially about the bonding and getting to know locals along the way. I think anytime you are with another adult, be it spouse or friend, people tend to assume you want your privacy and don’t want to intrude. For better or worse, they don’t often have that same feeling when you are solo with kiddo in tow, and I find that universal mother club to be the best door opener into other cultures.
4. Jane on February 9th, 2009
Lovely article, Kayt. I often travel alone with my kids (6 and 3). I love it. But I find the sleep management a little difficult sometimes (as in, I seem not to sleep that much). Do you have any advice on that? Looking forward to hearing about your latest trip to Jordan.
5. Motherofalltrips on February 10th, 2009
Another lovely piece – as usual. You know, it never occurred to me until I read this that my mother did lots of traveling alone with me and my sister, including a 9-month-stint in Italy when I was 9. I think she may have liked many of the things you list here, especially getting to control the itinerary.
I’ve done lots of day-tripping alone with my kids, but have not yet ventured on an overnight. Since there is an entire half of the globe that I want to visit and my DH doesn’t, I have a feeling that we will one day venture forth. Thanks for giving me some good reasons to do so.
6. robyn on June 9th, 2010
awesome article – thanks!
6 Responses to “Traveling Solo (or leaving the man at home).”